How do I feel?

The Christ on the Cross

The Christ on the Cross

This is an interesting feeling. Following the Goddesses last betrayal, I actually feel free and calm. I’ve seen Her method, how She lies, and promises things She has no intention of delivering. How She attacks the weaknesses of each of Her followers and exploits them to the max. I’ve seen this movie many times now,and am quite resigned to the fact that She never wanted me, respected me as a slave, or “liked” me in the least. I truly don;t have that anxious beating of the heart anymore waiting for Her messages. It feels ok. I’m not mad, or despondent, nothing. Interesting since I had a few weeks ago wondered casually how I could break Her programming. I wondered If I would need real professional help. Who would have known that the Goddess Herself would be the agent of my deprogramming. The only question I have now is whether or not to post all of Her videos to make them worthless or not. One school of thought is that they would only draw more attention to Her and more slaves would buy Her clips and tribute. As much as I want to post all of these vids, I’ve gotta believe it would only result in Her making more money in the long run. I’ll just keep them for me and my cock.

Final Damage?

Several several hundred in cash, but more damaging the stress on the body, the effects of which are hard to calculate. Around 9 moths of total obsession, total devotion, all unrequited. Total Hell.

Was it worth it? By the time I had found Her I had no other interests. Sissy hypnos worth watching were too few and far between. Regular porn is in its death spiral following the retirement of Flower Tucci’s generation. And besides that, jacking off to women who don’t know I exist? I’ve been doing that for decades now and no longer works. The only thing left I guess is real pussy,and we know how difficult that is. Theres the wife but that seems to be falling completely apart. I need some luck!

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